The Model

My most memorable victim this year was a model. Let's just call him "model boy".

I had a different crew of friends this summer. I don't know why I suddenly decided people of my own age & area were acceptable buddies (later learned not really), but it was a surreal environment of suddenly being back in high school, but with alcohol. A random text invitation to a pool party surfaced on my phone. I was a yeswoman this year. Besides, who says no to a pool party?

And there he was. Ten times hunkier than I remembered from high school stood "model boy". He gave me a gaze that I knew meant he was interest, no enthralled. At some point during the party I asked him to help me remove the skinny jeans that were stuck around my ankles. I think... that was the ok sign for him.

I've never seen someone with such lovely dark olive skin, or such a perfectly defined body. He even proved to be witty, driven, made beats that were like soulful lullabies. I've never seen such a sexy walk since then.

Eventually I learned that I was competing for him again another girl, someone 3 years older. I DON'T compete. I wish acknowledging a bad situation was strength enough to move on completely with one's life. The worst part was knowing someone else had him simultaneously. He seamlessly moved on, while I devoted 80% of my thoughts to him.

I babied myself in order to keep from going batty... and several months later I am still babying myself. When is it time to kick it into high gear?